True Loser Virgin

Let's list out the many things you're missing out on because of your virginity, it's such a cockblock to be so unfuckable! I mean really, it's almost sad to laugh! But I can't help myself, when I think about you getting laid, it's the most awkward thing I could ever imagine, you'd suck at it so bad! And I know you wouldn't be able to learn to get better, you're way too pathetic to evolve. I mean look at you! You're STILL a virgin after all, in the most open and receiving hook up culture that is trending right now, you're just a sexless handhumper virign still! And here's all the amazing things you're missing out on~