Blue Balls For Life

You have never successfully had sex with a woman, but youre not a virgin. Youre a premature ejaculator, which is worse than a virgin in my not-so-humble opinion. You cant even make one good thrust before you cum. What the hell is wrong with you? This is a problem that young people have, not grown men. Yes, you are pathetic, but in the most hilarious way possible. If your friends ever found out about your little problem, you would never hear the end of it. Hopefully they dont hear any of the rumors. That would be so humiliating! The only proper punishment for you is blue balls. Its what you deserve and its what youre going to get for the rest of your worthless life. No stroking. Just aching... FOREVER.