Always in the friend zone

Aw, you are so cute, did you get me gifts again? You are always getting me something! You are the best friend ever. I just dont know what I would do without you, you are my best friend. I just love how close we are, how you are like my lap . haha. Every man is jealous of you! You get to spend the night at my house, watch me change, everything that a boyfriend gets. I know what you are wondering, how much longer do I have to be in the friends zone? Well, the truth is, I think you are a huge LSOER! I could never date someone like you, yeah youre a good friend but lets keep it real here. I am NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. This may grow in time, but you have to do a ton extra to make it happen. Like buying me more gifts, being teased by me constantly, taking my girls and I on trips, driving me everywhere. I mean the list goes on and on. Oh and you cant un-friend me either, I wont let you go.