Your Sadistic Financial Advisor

It's good that you've come to see Me because it's clear you need help. The financial situation you're in has you stressed out, but I can fix this for you. See, you were never meant to have this much financial freedom. You were meant to live as a wage slave, controlled and restricted, and now... well, now you have Me to make it happen. Your money is now MY money and we're going to go through your earnings, your expenses, and your credit situation to make sure everything is above board. Oh yeah, you'll still have enough to pay your heavily reduced bills... but JUST barely. The rest will go to Me, and you'll finally the living the way you were always meant to. It might be hard sometimes, but I don't give a fuck. I want you to be miserable. I want you living correctly.