Happy Hump Your Hand Day

ReportHappy Hump-Your-Hand Day! Hi bitch! In all My divine power, I’ve decided to create a new holiday. This holiday is dedicated to all the masturbation-addicted jerk junkies like you. You love nothing more than to go deep for Me, stroking and pumping yourself into a submissive, aching frenzy. I know. I know all about your pathetic masturbation habits. That’s why I’m creating Happy Hump-Your-Hand Day! Some people call Wednesdays “hump day,” but a loser like you never gets to hump anything other than your pathetic hand, right? You’re not having sex with anyone other than yourself, haha! This is the perfect holiday for you, stroke addict!